"I'm not an ambulance chaser. I'm usually there before the ambulance."

"You have to work years in hit shows to make people sick and tired of you, but you can accomplish this in a few weeks on television."

"Life always sucks. It's just that sometimes that feels very good."

"Life is short; live it up."

"There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy."

"I have made plenty of enemies in my lifetime, but none has ever done me as much injury as I do myself."

"Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most."

"To live is well, but to live well is better"

"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."

"The animals of the planet are in desperate peril... Without free animal life I believe we will lose the spiritual equivalent of oxygen."

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."

"Life's too short for chess."