"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one."

"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse."

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."

"The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes."

"Boys don't make passes at female smartasses."

"Women prefer men who have something tender about them -- especially the legal kind."

"A feeling of real need is always a good enough reason to pray."

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."

"It's no sin to enjoy life."