"The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist."

"A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth."

"My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity."

"One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't."

"Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve."

"You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race."

"Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."

"There is no good arguing with the inevitible. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat."

"How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans."

"So we must daily keep things wound: that is, we must pray when prayer seems dry as dust; we must write when we are physically tired, when our hearts are heavy, when our bodies are in pain."

"Write what you like; there is no other rule."

"You can stand tall, without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims."