"Labels try to make you say what they want or write the songs they think you should write. [Johnny] Cash did his own thing."

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."

"Some people think a song without words isn't a real song. Tell that to Beethoven and he'll kick your ass!"

"Evil is relativea€|You cana€?t hang a sign on it. You cana€?t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger."

"It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts."

"Neurotics chase after people and jobs they don't really want, just to prove that they are like everybody else - which is the last thing they really want."

"In human relations a little language goes farther than a little of almost anything else. Whereas one language now often makes a wall, two can make a gate."

"What men call good fellowship is commonly but the virtue of pigs in a litter which lie close together to keep each other warm."

"The two most evangelical groups in the world are atheists and vegetarians, especially the least knowledgeable and least intelligent individuals within those groups."

"People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt."

"Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with."

"The test of our progress is not whether we add to the abundance of those who have much. It is whether we provide enough to those who have little."