"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Life? Don't talk to me about life!"

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."

"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously."

"Do any deserve liberty who are not ready to give it to others? Let us calmly go to work, instead of dissipating our energy in unnecessary fretting and fuming."

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."

"Before you give up hope, turn back and read the attacks that were made on Lincoln."

"The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run."

"Life is but a walking Shadow, a poor Player That struts and frets his Hour upon the Stage, And then is heard no more; It is a tall Tale, Told by an Idiot, full of Sound and Fury, Signifying nothing.'"

"Without self knowledge, without understanding the working and functions of his machine, man cannot be free, he cannot govern himself and he will always remain a slave."