"It takes 15,000 nuts to hold a car together, but only one to spread it all over the highway."

"What you see is what you get."

"Funny is an attitude."

"The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down."

"You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine."

"The devil made me do it."

"If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads."

"Wanting to be someone you're not is a waste of the person you are."

"I base most of my fashion sense on whether or not it itches."

"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."

"MAGPIE, n. A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk."

"A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue."